When is a Christian not a Christian?

How many of us know of, or have heard of someone who is a Christian and is living with their partner. I know of the situation coming from both sides of the gender divide.

The question however is this, are they really Christian?

Okay, just to be clear on something. I understand that merely living with someone does not impugn the person's standing before God, however, in Society's eyes, two people in a romantic relationship, who are living together, are having sex and thus by deduction, in society's eyes, that Christian who is living with their partner, is also having sex. It has nothing to do with the reality and thus the reason why I'm suggesting they are in fact not Christian.

But back to the question...

It is a question that will probably cause a great deal of discussion, controversy, and in fact, heated disagreement - there is however another question that I think is the real question that needs to be dealt with first, and that is "Do we have a right to make such a judgment?". Your answer to this question will drive your answer to the issue..

Let's examine some of the ideas and emotions driving this question.

• People want to be nice...
  People, in general, are loath to sell someone short, they also do not want to be known as the person that condemned someone else. They will typically take the view that it is between them and God - they are on their path, I am on mine, who am I to say that your path is not the narrow one.
  
• People like to sit on the fence and follow the crowd
  In these kinds of questions, going against the flow is not very popular. It's not that easy. People do not know how to respond and thus respond with what everyone else is saying. If they answer no then they will be the outcast.
  
• People don't want to judge
  This probably has the biggest influence on people's thinking on this matter. People do not want to judge because of Jesus words, "Do not Judge, or you will be judged". Is that the only reason? And did Jesus outlaw any form of judgment with those words?
  

If you consider other references in the New Testament, especially from the words of Paul, you will notice that he in fact does quite a lot of what we are reluctant to do. "Let him be eternally condemned" is words he uses in Galations to refer to someone who preaches a different gospel, and "Among them are Hymenaeus and Alexander, whom I have handed over to Satan to be taught not to blaspheme." 1 Timothy 1:20 (biblegateway.com).

Those are very strong words, no matter who they come from.

What exactly does Jesus mean when he says "do not Judge". He did what we would refer to as judging, so did Stephen (a non apostle) in his speech in Acts 7.

"You stiff-necked people, with uncircumcised hearts and ears! You are just like your fathers: You always resist the Holy Spirit! 52Was there ever a prophet your fathers did not persecute? They even killed those who predicted the coming of the Righteous One. And now you have betrayed and murdered him— 53you who have received the law that was put into effect through angels but have not obeyed it." Acts 7.52 - 53 (BibleGateway.com).

and again from Paul in Titus chapter 1.
"For there are many rebellious people, mere talkers and deceivers, especially those of the circumcision group. 11They must be silenced, because they are ruining whole households by teaching things they ought not to teach—and that for the sake of dishonest gain. 12Even one of their own prophets has said, "Cretans are always liars, evil brutes, lazy gluttons." 13This testimony is true. Therefore, rebuke them sharply, so that they will be sound in the faith 14and will pay no attention to Jewish myths or to the commands of those who reject the truth. 15To the pure, all things are pure, but to those who are corrupted and do not believe, nothing is pure. In fact, both their minds and consciences are corrupted." (biblegateway.com)

There are numerous injunctions in the New Testament to "rebuke". There is also a mention in one of the gospels about how if you turn your brother from sin, then you will be blessed.

So in answer to the question - do we have a right to make such a call? I think the answer to that is yes, but with humility. We are not to go around making judgments left right and centre as to the eternal destiny of those people in our church, nor are we to go around making these kinds of calls when we haven't done our utmost to investigate and to give them the benefit of the doubt.

However, when it is obvious that some who claims to be a Christian is consistently living in sin, there is warrant for us to make such a call.

But - you only have a right to make such a call if you're willing to live with the consequences, and that is, you have a duty, as a Christian to draw along side the brother or sister and help them back. The point is this, just as we should be bent on seeing out non Christian friends saved, we should be arguably even more bent on seeing our fallen friends brought back. It's not good making a judgment that they are in fact not Christians and then not do anything about that. They are still our friends and still deserve our respect. Possibly, the reason why people are loathe to make these kinds of judgments is precisely because it may mean we have to act. The other issue is that the person may be seriously struggling with the weakness, whatever that may be and desperate to turn things around, what they need is a supportive loving friend who will listen to them. They have to make the turn around decision though.

I think we do ourselves a disservice when we feel that it is not right to question somebody's faith. Let's face it, faith without works is dead.

Let me balance this all by saying that is if someone saw everything that I did, including when nobody's looking, they would probably also question whether I am in a Christian, and that's fine. If they don't think I'm a Christian, I can handle that. It will cause me to question the issue and hopefully drive me to make more effort. The point here is that they have my eternal destiny in view and that is the most important thing. It is a thorny issue, a lot of us struggle with sin that nobody sees, every day. Why am I picking then on the people whose sin we do see. I think the correct approach is that when we do see a friend who claims to be a Christian but is living in sin, to tackle them on the issue and to say something like, I can't understand how you can be a Christian and live like that - that will probably scare them enough to bring them back, especially if we start giving them tracts and the like! But once that is done, we pray and let God do the rest.

But what do the people out there think? I'm not so sure if my argument is as coherent and strong as it could be, or as balanced. If you have anything to add, feel free to leave a comment and maybe I can improve it. What did Jesus mean when he said "Do not Judge?".